What Happens to Kids When Parents Fight?

No matter how loving the relationship with your partner is, there will be conflicts, disagreements and squabbles from time to time and this is perfectly normal. Do not be deceived by what you see on social media, even healthy relationships experience disputes occasionally…that’s the reality of life. 

“Home is where love resides, memories are created, friends always belong, and laughter never ends” and “there is nothing more important than a good, safe and secure home”. Your kids seeing you and your spouse fighting every day blurs the line between love and hatred. What they see is two people cohabiting, trying to tolerate each other especially during the endless days of silent treatment. 

Couples fighting is normal, what is not normal is doing it every day in the presence of your kids. Your kids shouldn’t see you two shouting, cursing or throwing things at each other. This causes panic, depression, anxiety and sleep disorders even in babies.   

Listed below are a few of the signs which indicate that a child is affected by his parents fighting: 

• The child starts crying or doing something to seek attention the minute he sees his parents arguing.
• On seeing his parents fighting, the child becomes absolutely quiet.
• The child looks and talks like he is insecure about something.
• The child looks scared when he sees his parents shout and yell at each other.
• The child tends to fight with his peers and not get along with other kids.
• The child does not mingle much with other kids and is mostly termed anti-social.
• The child shows signs of abnormal behaviour.
• The child tends to blame himself when his parents start to argue and fight.
• The child shows signs of depression.
• The child does poorly in school and in co-curricular activities.
• The child may prefer being away from his parents.
• The child may complain of headaches, stomach achesor some other health issue to divert the parents’ attention from fighting.

Impact of Parents Fighting in Front of Children

Aggression

There is no way in the world your constant fighting won’t affect your kids. It’s either they become resentful to others because they are scared or they bully others. When kids witness terrible fights, it stays in their memory and they begin to believe that fighting is the only way to solve problems. Constant fighting is a bad habit and it causes anger issues and aggression.

 Emotional Distress

If fighting is a constant thing in your home, going home will become sad for your kids. Your kids will be happy while at school and lock themselves up in their room when home. Another adverse effect it could have on your kids is thinking while at school. Your child could get completely lost and lose concentration in class which will also affect their grades. Fighting with your spouse in front of your kids can make your kids insecure or have low self-esteem among their peers.

Failure in Relationships

The fear of having a partner will always be there because they never witnessed peace with their parents’ relationship while growing. Your kids will always avoid being in a relationship or getting married because of the fear of getting hurt or having a failed marriage. Even when they eventually get into one, they treat their partners the same way; fighting, arguing and cursing at every chance they get. 

Health Problems

Domestic violence can cause series of ailments to kids. This includes sleepless nights, heart palpitations, overthinking, headaches and depression. 

It Can Affect Parent-Child Relationship

The quality of your relationship with your child will be greatly affected because you spend most of your time brooding, crying and fighting. A stressed or angry parent cannot completely show love and affection to a child. Your kids will also be scared of talking to you because of the fear of getting beaten up. 

To avoid constant conflicts with your spouse, try to sit down and resolve issues on what triggers you both. Instead of fighting in front of the kids, go inside your room and speak about your issues. Also, silent treatment never solves anything, both parties just end up hurting each other.